Paris Hilton's Prison Blues

I am misunderstood by everyone I know,
Let me tell you who I am, my heart I wanna show.

My tits got me a condo in Miami Beach,
my ass got me free soda from the guy with no teeth.

My dad got me a hot tub, I use it every night,
my mum got me a plane which is always in flight.

My nose got me a spot on MTV,
my legs got me carryin' an STD.

My arms got me a salary of 90k a day,
my head gets me double when I can't think what to say.

My fingers got me time in the celebrities jail,
my tonsils got me out before I even made bail.

My mind gets me printed in Vogue Magazine,
my wit gets me all the men with no esteem.

My soul gets me to heaven with a V.I.P pass,
my ego gets St Peter to kiss my sculpted ass.

I am the greatest lady that you'll ever see,
I am the very model of iconoclast celebrity.

Don't you think I'm pretty....well...don't you?
If you don't you know what you can do?
You can go fuck yourself?  You know why?
Because I am the great celebrity, I could shit
on a tile in front of the grand jury
and still get off scott free, no suckin' for me,
I'll go down in history as pretty girl 10,873.
What about you huh?  Have you got anything?
Show me what you got?

forgive her, she hasn't had her humanity injection, her vanity
injection is great though don't you think? what a lady, i weep at the sight of her coz she's so amazing, and wonderful, charitable and selfless. she's like the world you know. she is a modern day saint don't you think?

To end this hideous little scene, the one sane man left on this plastic sphere draws a ubiquitous firearm, and sends us all promptly to hell